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Who: Asbjørn & Ruby.
What: Moonpool hunting.
Where: Sobek Croix.
When: A week or so after Bad Blood.
Notes: Glow in the dark shenanigans!
Warnings: Partial nudity because swimming in moonpools.

Prior to the bad blood business, Asbjørn had learnt that there was something in the forest surrounding Sobek Croix, in that roundabout 'I heard it from a guy in a pub, who heard it from his sister's hairdresser' sort of way. The locals were wary. A few magic users he'd encountered, who had lived in the city for several years, had nudged each other and shared knowing looks. And thanks to being cooped up in his flat with nothing better to do than lick his wounds and read, a few books on local history and landmarks had hinted at interesting things.

...what's telling is that he took that information and decided a place widely rumoured to be haunted was best explored after dark. At some point during the day, Ruby would have gotten a text that read:

up for a late night forest adventure in sobek croix? i can promise food, good company and supernatural goings on. and only one of the last two things is me.

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Well, now that Ruby sounds uncertain. Then again, while he takes stock of the situation, they are experiencing their first kiss half-naked in a pool of magic whatever while Asbjørn's more animal instincts make an unexpected appearance.

"That depends." he says, a little slowly as he deliberates on his thoughts. "How completely insane do you think I am right now?"

It's not completely rhetorical.

"I don't think you're insane." That much is true, and she says it with sincerity.

"I think...I don't know what we're doing. It's not the first time I've thought about this, but..." She tips her head back, moonlight glimmer touching her hair. "I don't want to leave Sobek Croix and feel like we can't be normal together anymore."

Asbjørn nods in agreement, even though the little sinking feeling inside him is starting to gather momentum.

"Yeah, I uh--" A stressed chuffing noise escapes him and his hand quickly clasps over his mouth.

Between fingers, he manages to say. "--I seriously need to get the fuck out and away from this stuff."

"Wait--"

She reaches for him, impulsively, and there's a split second where she doesn't know if that request is because she doesn't want to go or if she really wants to ask this question. Ruby hesitates one troubled moment longer, and forces up her bravery.

"Just-- tell me it's not the moonlight that made you want to kiss me."

Unless, of course, that's what it was, she tells herself, and if it was, she can take that, too.

"No." It comes out a little more forcefully than he intended. "God, no --look it's...a bear thing, okay? I promise. But, I--"

He sighs, pressing the heel of one palm to his closed eyes. "I've had...feelings for you for a while now. But I haven't wanted to act on it. For my own reasons."

This is all sounding so much more horrible than it did in his head a minute ago. "God, that sounds shady. Look, I swear on my mother's life I'm not some kind of guy who likes a girl and pretends to be her friend only because he wants to date her. I think you're amazing, it's me that's the problem."

It's not you, it's me is one of those relationship lines she's never actually heard before (because Steven was pretty comfortable saying "it's you"), but she's said it to other people. It doesn't feel good to be on the other side, but she has faith enough in Asbjørn that she believes it's true, rather than a line.

If she can't have faith enough in herself, that's something.

"Okay," she says, after a treading-moonlight silence. "I don't think you're that kind of guy. I know you aren't. Let's--here, let's get on the edge."

Near the moonlight, but not actively in it, at least. Ruby pushes herself up onto the edges, her whole body tinted with the traces of that iridescent glow, gauzy underwear sticking to her a little strangely from the texture.

"Tell me." She doesn't say 'please', but she might as well have, from the softness of her tone.

Asbjørn hauls himself out and sits there for a minute gathering his thoughts. His body language makes it look like he's already bracing himself for something: shoulders hunched, head lowered, arms taught by his side.

"You have to understand, I can't be honest with other people like I am with you. It means, when I try to live life completely human, I always come off as a bit weird or eccentric. ...more than usual, anyway. And especially when it comes to love."

He pauses for a bit. "I loved my last girlfriend. I really believed I could tell her one day, I just wasn't ready. It's not something you can drop on people, you know? So I... Anyway, we were together for ten months, which is the longest I've ever been with someone. How sad is that? And she really wanted to take things to the next level and move in together but I just... I knew it would get harder to keep things a secret. She was fine at first, but she kept pushing it. And I kept saying no. And one day we had this massive fight about it--"

"But it was just a fight, so I went around to her place the next day to apologise and I. I caught her in bed with someone else. That's not the worst part. Because it made me angry and anger acts as a trigger for-- but he must have thought I was going to do something, because he got up and was in my face, which made things so much worse." His fingers dig into the soil at the memory. "I can honestly not describe how much I wanted to tear his fucking throat out, Ruby. There was this moment where I grabbed his fist only my hands were changing into paws and I couldn't stop crushing him. And then I saw Mia's face."

"I have never once felt ashamed of what I am. Not until then."

While he talks, she is focused enough on him that her shivering (involuntary, tracing up her spine and jolting her shoulders on occasion with its force) doesn't stop her from hearing what he's saying. There's a weight to this story, a could-have, might-have weight that is significant to her, too, though not in the same way as Asbjørn. Her bare feet skim the edge of the moonpool, and she tucks her arms around herself.

"That's scary," she says, simply, just at first. She knows he knows that, but she wants to affirm that part of it for him, to show him she understands. "And I am really glad you were able to stop it there. For him, for her, and for you, too."

She imagines the scene in her head, and with a vivid imagination like hers, it's not hard to do. If Ruby were Mia, presuming Mia doesn't have what Ruby thinks of as her 'baggage', she doesn't know how she'd react. How frightened she'd be. It's not the same motivation as her father had, and certainly he would never have stopped, but men and violence will always invoke certain thoughts in her head, be a certain kind of reminder.

It's also a reminder not everyone is that man.

"I won't pretend to know what it's like to have those instincts, but I never, ever want you to feel ashamed of who you are, period, but especially with me, okay? Because it's just as telling that you did stop."

"Like I said, it's a bear thing." He finally makes eye contact, then frowns when he notices Ruby is shivering. Before they continue talking, he leans over to reach for his bag. There's a blanket packed tight in the bottom that he unrolls and offers to her.

"It's different depending on what kind of bear you are. For polar bears, we rarely get aggressive unless it comes to cubs, mates or personal attacks. Female bears are less available because they take so long to birth and raise cubs. You would not believe the length males go to. Mating rites are fierce as anything, then there's courtship where males follow them across the ice for miles just to be near them," and here he averts his eyes to the side, a little embarassed on top of all the stirred up raw emotions. "It doesn't cross over that well."

"But it's up to me to make myself safe for other people to be around. It's been...seven months since then. I still question myself."

Ruby murmurs her thanks while she tucks the blanket around herself, and once situated, notices the way he's carefully not looking at her. She moves closer--not close enough that they're touching, as she is mildly concerned that might only make matters worse, but so she can dip her head down to look at him, a little searchingly.

"And you've been keeping your distance since then, haven't you? From people."

Edited 2011-11-04 10:55 (UTC)

"More than usual." Asbjørn's head turns a little to look at her. "I'm independent by nature. I need space just to be. I come with a lot of extras --weird noises, protectiveness, some...other things." At least he feels there are a lot of extras.

"People deserve better than that." Although he's not really referring to 'people' in as much as 'potential love interests,' which more specifically means Ruby.

She frowns a little, though it's as thoughtful as it is disagreement. She folds her hands in her lap, the blanket tucked in her fists to keep it securely over her shoulders. Ruby still feels cold, even with it, but--that can wait, and it does help.

"Well...I think people might disagree with that all being bad. I know what it's like, to have...baggage." There's a quiet twist to how Ruby says the word, but it's entirely self-directed. "I just--you can't convince me all those things are all bad. And for the record, I like you. All of you."

She sort of feels like she's overplayed her hand once she says that, as though she's pushed too far, but at least she's wholly sincere.

Asbjørn smiles a little, despite himself. "Sure about that? I haven't even mentioned most of the weirder stuff." And then his shoulder softly bumps against hers. "For what it's worth, I like you, too. Like cross the Arctic like you. Where no bear has gone before."

It's only a half-joke; he's kept his guard up for so long and this entire conversation has been so terrifying on an emotional level because he really does care for Ruby. Humour seems to be the easiest way to deal with what he feels right now. Which is why he finishes with, "But I'd understand if you only wanted to be friends. I would."

"Weird," she echoes, with a rueful ghost of a laugh. The question of friends or something else is one that has crossed her mind repeatedly as this conversation has continued, and she isn't sure what she'll say. Ruby knows what she wants, but this is one instance where she's not sure her instincts are correct.

"When I was little," she says, conversationally, "I used to get visitations. Ghosts. All the time. Mostly they were nice...this older girl, Tiger Smokler, told me about sex. Sometimes they wanted to hurt me, but I could always make them leave. Like they didn't have a choice.

"And then there was the time a huge burning phoenix hopped up on the deck of my house, lit it on fire, and told me it loved me. Weird doesn't scare me, Asbjørn. It's where I come from."

When she rises, it's sort of abrupt, but she wants to be standing when she says this. She doesn't know why. It just feels balancing.

"I'm not kidding when I say I have baggage, too. People have stopped wanting anything to do with me over it before. They thought they could handle it, but...I guess not."

"I believe you." Now it's Asbjørn's turn to gaze up at Ruby intently. And he does believe her. Not just because she's saying so outright, but because of the little gaps and glimmers between words in past conversations. "I don't mean to act like I'm the only one who has issues. I'm just...used to it only being me."

He pushes himself up off the ground slowly, keeping her gaze, standing close but not quite. "And I understand people not being able to deal with it. But like you're saying, we're not other people. So as long as you want me around, I'm here. In whatever way."

Edited 2011-11-04 13:51 (UTC)

"It's not just--the supernatural," she confesses, after a tense pause on her part. Now it's Ruby's turn to avert her eyes. "It's just...I lie, you know? About my family. I can't tell you what it is, not right now, which I know isn't fair because you've been so honest with me, but..."

There's a rueful little exhale.

"I just--I can't. The way I grew up is so fucked up, and I still feel like I have all this damage inside me, and then everything with my ex just made it worse. I don't want to get that on you because you really do make me happy, just being with you. You know what I mean?"

"I do." Not from personal experience, but he remembers things told to him by friends over the years, or the things that didn't need to be said, or women he knew and loved that were messed over or worse at some point in their lives. "And that's okay, there's no rush. You have your reasons, at least you're telling me they're there, and that's enough for me."

"I'm just...happy to find someone I can be honest with." He gives a little half-shouldered shrug, a mild smile. "Don't feel bad about that. That's something I never really set my hopes on in the past ten years."

She's a little cold to the touch when she moves forward to put her hand on his shoulder (something that doesn't necessitate too much of a reach thanks to her height).

"I'm happy about that, too, and..." The pink tint in her cheeks is obviously just the cold. Obviously. "You know that night we went out to the library bar?"

"Yeah, I remember. And my hangover the next day." But he smiles fondly, placing a hand over hers and trying not to internally fuss over how cold it feels.

"You should probably know that I very seriously considered trying to seduce you." This is both true and trolling, judging by the impish little smile of her own. Ruby thinks it's probably about time they lighten the mood a bit, and after the implications of her own history--she thinks it's necessary.

Sometime, she decides, she'll tell him.

But not tonight, not least because she really is freezing.

Asbjørn's face lightens into an almost-laugh, before quickly sobering into faux-seriousness. "Really. And do you think I'd be so easy to seduce?"

He can vaguely remember a discussion about conquering mountains. Vaguely.

She thinks about that question, and meanders closer. A hand on his shoulder turns to both arms around him, and Ruby pressed up against him, with a lazier edge to the curve of her mouth.

"I don't know. Maybe I just think I'm really good at seducing."

Madam. Leave the bear-man alone and put your clothes on.

Well, if arms are being put around, Asbjørn sees no reason not to circle Ruby with his own. Or pull her close. At least it solves the problem of freezing? He does tend to run warmer than most.

"We could have a problem, then," he says, voice still playful, "because I consider enabling one of my finer qualities."

That warmth feels really good, as does the person attached to it, and so Ruby stays right where she is. "In that case, you're going to have to take me back to yours, because under no circumstances am I going to go about it while we are likely to be caught and arrested by Hellsing."

She doesn't actually think Hellsing would care about two twenty-somethings getting naked in their neighborhood, but there remains the possibility of getting caught.

For a moment he does a quick calculation in his head. "It's either a walk and two El-trains, or--" and he looks behind him, "--following the forest to where Salacus Fields and Howl Barrow border."

He's being efficient, not eager. Honest.