rhinemaid: actress mia kirshner (hide the limp and tearful willow ♠)
( ilde decima ) ([personal profile] rhinemaid) wrote in [community profile] multiversallogs2012-01-21 05:21 pm
Entry tags:

people talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. love hurts. feelings are disturbing.

Who: Ilde Decima & Ivan.
What: Meg Shao did something for Ilde before she left; Ilde has been meaning to discuss it with Ivan for a while.
Where: Ivan's apartment, Mafaton.
When: Veerdi night.
Notes: The squidbaby cometh. Did you know the gestation period of an octopus is seven months?
Warnings: Uhhh let me get back to you on that as necessary, but the usual probably apply ("reference to trauma").


After a few people know, she stops talking about it; she hadn't wanted to dive right into this conversation with Ivan before they'd both had some time to resettle with her presence in the city, but she doesn't want him to be the last to know, either. It doesn't seem fair, or practical, or a hundred other little things that fit together into this thing she doesn't entirely understand that they are allegedly referring to now as 'a relationship'. If she's planning something drastically life-altering, and he's got some kind of inexplicable investment in her life, then this is one of those things they're supposed to talk about and she doesn't even need someone else to give her the nudge, this time.

She's slowly easing back into work - cello and violin lessons mean working from home, which is easier, and most of her clients have been understanding without asking too many questions (they understand 'Baedal happens' just like everybody else) - and it's easier again than moving back into her wider social spheres. She promises music to Rodolphus and sits in the temple with Jae and sleeps beside Sonja the first couple of nights she's back, which is mostly for her own sake but maybe it can't hurt to be a heartbeat and solid body after emptiness; she thinks about her father, more, and it's a different and easier pain now that door is shut. It feels like survivor's guilt, except she didn't, so mostly it's just shapes without names and her nails pressing into the palms of her hands. She doesn't talk about what happened with Hilmi; she treats Ivan's apartment like her own space, which isn't new.

He's probably getting used to waking up to her eyes, huge and unblinking, and her weight on his thighs. He'll never need to buy a cat.
deservesadaisy: (Default)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-21 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
"You know," he observes, perfect lucid as soon as he opens his eyes, "you could actually nudge me, if you wanted me to wake up sooner." He's more amused than bothered. If there's a time for her to tell him, it's probably a good one; he's been agreeable, since she's been back, but treating her very slightly less as if she's made of glass than he had been prior.
deservesadaisy: (confused)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-21 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
Whatever conversation he was expecting, it wasn't this one. He sits up a little, slowly enough not to make her lose her balance.

"I see." He pauses for a moment. "You know I can't..."
deservesadaisy: (there's nothing on TV)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-21 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
"But it's still good news, for you, which suggests you want this." He's not drawing away, but there's a wary air about him; Daisy's daughter had been a wedge between them, among other things.
deservesadaisy: (light)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-21 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
He isn't entirely sure how to take this observation. After a moment, he says, "Tell me what you're telling me, exactly."
deservesadaisy: (gravity)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-21 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
"I see." It was an opaque remark, rather purposely so. Before Ilde, Ivan hadn't been involved with anyone but a vampire since his recruitment. Never seriously. This conversation wasn't something he was properly prepared for.

"You've decided to have a child, then."
deservesadaisy: (self-control)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-21 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
"Alright." He doesn't own Ilde; she's perfectly capable of making that decision on her own. "Thank you for telling me."

He's policing his reaction very carefully, for now. He isn't sure exactly how to sort it out yet.
deservesadaisy: (two rules for Ivan's car)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-21 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"Ilde... I'm not going to leave you, but it's going to take a lot of your time. And it's probably not best for me to be around your child, which means in total we'll see a great deal less of one another." He says it calmly, almost careful.

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deservesadaisy: (indulgences)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-22 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Much later, after they'd plenty of time in bed, Ivan stirred himself to go out to feed. He wasn't gone excessively long, though he didn't rush back, taking some time to consider the evening as a whole.

Then again, as always, he feels better with blood in his system. She's not pregnant yet, nor like to be terribly soon; they have some time left, and then they'd see.

He looks a bit better, as usual after his trips out, when he lets himself in.
deservesadaisy: (indulgent)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-22 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh? What thought?" He comes in and kisses the top of her head: affectionate habit.
deservesadaisy: (confused)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-22 03:22 am (UTC)(link)
It wasn't what he was expecting. He raises his eyebrows. "Why?"
deservesadaisy: (light)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-22 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
He runs a hand back through his hair. "If you want," he says, finally. He doesn't object, he's just not sure how long she'll need one. But if she wants one... he supposes there's nothing wrong with it.
deservesadaisy: (there's nothing on TV)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-22 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
"No - no, it's fine. I didn't think... I don't mind." He's a bit off-balance now, unsure where they're left, but he's honest. He doesn't mind.
deservesadaisy: (light)

[personal profile] deservesadaisy 2012-01-22 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
"I suppose it would be convenient. Take the key when you go out, then, I don't have daylight plans tomorrow."

It's perfectly logical.

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