people talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. love hurts. feelings are disturbing.

[rhinemaid]

Who: Ilde Decima & Ivan.
What: Meg Shao did something for Ilde before she left; Ilde has been meaning to discuss it with Ivan for a while.
Where: Ivan's apartment, Mafaton.
When: Veerdi night.
Notes: The squidbaby cometh. Did you know the gestation period of an octopus is seven months?
Warnings: Uhhh let me get back to you on that as necessary, but the usual probably apply ("reference to trauma").

After a few people know, she stops talking about it; she hadn't wanted to dive right into this conversation with Ivan before they'd both had some time to resettle with her presence in the city, but she doesn't want him to be the last to know, either. It doesn't seem fair, or practical, or a hundred other little things that fit together into this thing she doesn't entirely understand that they are allegedly referring to now as 'a relationship'. If she's planning something drastically life-altering, and he's got some kind of inexplicable investment in her life, then this is one of those things they're supposed to talk about and she doesn't even need someone else to give her the nudge, this time.

She's slowly easing back into work - cello and violin lessons mean working from home, which is easier, and most of her clients have been understanding without asking too many questions (they understand 'Baedal happens' just like everybody else) - and it's easier again than moving back into her wider social spheres. She promises music to Rodolphus and sits in the temple with Jae and sleeps beside Sonja the first couple of nights she's back, which is mostly for her own sake but maybe it can't hurt to be a heartbeat and solid body after emptiness; she thinks about her father, more, and it's a different and easier pain now that door is shut. It feels like survivor's guilt, except she didn't, so mostly it's just shapes without names and her nails pressing into the palms of her hands. She doesn't talk about what happened with Hilmi; she treats Ivan's apartment like her own space, which isn't new.

He's probably getting used to waking up to her eyes, huge and unblinking, and her weight on his thighs. He'll never need to buy a cat.