Severus Snape (
subtlescience) wrote in
multiversallogs2012-02-22 01:12 pm
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Entry tags:
(no subject)
Who: Lucius Malfoy, Sr. and Severus Snape Beta
What: An Old Men moment, probably
Where: A pub.
When: I will fill this in later.
Notes: None.
Warnings: None. Yet.
Life has been tossing strange curveballs in Severus Snape's direction. That he considers recent events to be curveballs and not the situation as a whole (that is, being abducted to Baedal) is very telling. Then again, he has had a long time to accept that he's dead in his own world, so his tolerance for the weird and unusual may be slightly higher than it once was. Still. First Charity Burbage appears, and though he has deftly managed to avoid talking to her, he's supremely aware that it's a reckoning he'll eventually have to face. Then, he is abruptly removed from the city and given a year's worth of memories from the Barge in the span of three days - something which has put him decidedly out of step with Martha.
Something which he hopes will remain out of step; there are memories he doesn't want her to have.
And then Lily. Every now and again, he reaches for his CiD to contact her, but he isn't sure what he would say. 'I'm here.' He finds he's not sure he wants her to know or just how the conversation would progress from there. He doesn't think he wants her to know simply for the sake of knowing. 'You're safe.' Untrue. Besides, what would Martha say? And the longer he waits, the more he realizes that, as pursuits go, contacting Lily would be better left to his doppelganger. He's closer to her age; it won't be as jarring for her. Though he spent nearly two decades wishing for her, hoping he could see her again, the glimpse he had of her in the CiD leaves him feeling rather removed from the situation.
And rather old.
If he's fair with time and includes those years on the Barge, he's forty-one. Everyone - Narcissa, her husband, Rosier, Nymphadora - seems to be so much younger. Severus is an anomaly. An aberration in the timeline. He's beginning to understand just how Lucius feels; their conversation in his shop starts to take on a new light. His inability to find a common point in time with the others from his world is incredibly alienating.
Which is also something of a curveball, because Severus has never cared before about feeling alienated. But, of course, it was never quite like this.
In the end, he doesn't contact Lily. As the days go by, he finds himself wanting some connection to home, however. He can't contact Rodolphus. Rodolphus is (was) complicated and profoundly simple in a way that goes well beyond annoying Severus. Burbage will ask questions, and he doesn't want to answer them. So it's Lucius he contacts, because whether Lucius hates him for his betrayal or has forgiven him thanks to the protection he gave Draco, they're of the same place and time, and on occasion, that's worth more than friendship. His message contains nothing more than an address and time; he doesn't fully expect Lucius to put in an appearance, but he goes and waits just the same.
no subject
As for the man himself, his clothing is unchanged in style from their last encounter. He's dressed like a Muggle - perhaps a bit anachronistically and very buttoned-up, but a Muggle all the same. Clothing doesn't make the wizard.
When Lucius approaches, he stands and even goes so far as to hold out a hand. From an outsider's point of view, it might be seen as mannerly (which is a laughable concept, considering who's attached to the hand), but for Severus, it's practical. Once, shaking hands was a sign of truce and trust: gripping of wrists to make a show of being unarmed. His hand out, whether Lucius accepts or not, sets the tone. I'm going to be painfully civil. What about you?
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He raises an eyebrow, as if to say; If we must.
"A toast, then, to your second chance at acclimation?" he asks, once the shake gesture is done, pulling out the opposite chair and, once seated, drawing empty wine glass closer to himself. He probably isn't actually going to raise his glass; he'll leave the literal actions of affect to Severus to initiate.
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Lucius can help himself to more if he wants it.
"If you wish to raise a glass to my comings and goings, do it if you see the back of me for good," he replies dismissively. He doesn't hold out hope that it'll happen, and that flat disbelief bleeds into his tone. 'If', not 'when'. It's with that comment that he reaches for his wine, falls still, and glances around. It's a little too close to the subject that has been on his mind since before his abrupt departure.
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Not that Lucius has any reason whatsoever to be surprised about that sentiment. Indeed, his response is somewhat placid as he takes the charged glass and raises it to drink from in the same movement. "What would it matter to you, where you are? There's that sentiment--" He tips his glass a little in wry gesture, as he goes to hook his cane against the side of the table. The silver head could do with a polish.
The rich red wine horizon settles once more in his hand. "Home is where the heart is."
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When has he ever not chosen his words carefully around a Malfoy? He finds himself hoping the wine will help lubricate the conversation, because he's having a good deal of trouble ignoring the fact that Lucius is here and Narcissa is not, and his own wedding ring is something of a slap in the face to his old - colleague.
"Flexible and accepting though I may seem -" Ha. "- I would hesitate to call this place 'home'."
Only that isn't entirely true. Didn't he have this conversation before he was pulled away? Didn't they agree that they could live here? But he was pulled away, and there is a house in Scotland which Martha doesn't know about because he's so blatantly out of step with her. Which brings him right back to why he's here, drinking with Lucius Malfoy.
"It's something of a challenge to accept an environment as such when your contemporaries are suddenly no longer your contemporaries."
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But unlike his last stand alone one-worded response, this isn't flippant; filler, maybe, as Lucius reconsidered Snape sitting across from him over the top of his wine glass. Navigating dangerously close to certain topics they might be, Lucius is not actually keen to get into an argument about who has what and goes along with, instead, the intended meaning of the words being spoken.
"And so I take it Bermuda," if we're just going to call it that, now, wherever it was, "put you out of step." He guesses that Snape is not taking about the younger Malfoys, the recent Bellatrix, or even Lily Potter.
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When he does realize what was meant, his mouth twitches in what might be a smile. Just a private joke: yes, Bermuda put him out of step. Quite so.
"To a small degree." He won't argue that he isn't out of sync with Martha, but. But. "Not an insurmountable problem on the domestic front. I was and am speaking on a broader social scale, of course. 'Bermuda' -" Another facial tic betrays his amusement. "Has little to do with it."
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Which is different to the usual 'not at all', in fairness. "They seem to understand a great deal more than one would expect. Enough not to ask very many questions."
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Even when the other man is being (or has been) decidedly prickly about the small matter of twenty years' worth of betrayal.
At the assessment of what 'they' understand, Severus touches his fingers to the stem of the glass; he rolls it between thumb and forefinger, turning it slowly on the table. "Time and foreknowledge has made them strangers with almost-familiar faces. Is their understanding and restraint enough for you?"
Because it isn't for him, he's implying here.
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"I am an outcome that the majority of our peers would like nothing more than to avoid, should they ever make it back to the real world," he finally states. "They need not ask questions or do anything in reference to this to make it any less or more true. So no, not particularly."
He decides not to explain his attitudes towards the younger Snape. A judgement based off how he considers his own analogue.
Find a grammatical error in last tag, feel horrible forever.
He isn't certain how to express just what he's feeling about this, or what he hopes to gain by trying to commiserate with the man opposite him - and then, how to phrase it under the carefully guarded parameters begged by a conversation with Lucius Malfoy. Subtlety is a complicated thing on occasion. So after a moment, he simply goes on thoughtfully, "It does leave one feeling particularly old."
Severus says the word 'old' as though it's a completely foreign and insulting concept. He's only thirty-eight (or forty-one), and wizards have such long natural lives. How dare old age come creeping around the corners of his life this way. This soon.
Take forever tagging anyone, feel horrible forever.
But Lucius isn't known for his sense of fairness. His woes are precious to him, uniquely individual, martyred and self-pitying. Still, he doesn't argue. His wine glass tips in gesture. "I suppose one does. Did you ever acquaint yourself with Narcissa Black, when she was still here?"
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"We played a very convincing game of not remembering one another, but I suspect it was more out of consideration - she for my feelings, and me for..." Well. Not hers. Lucius's, perhaps. He leaves the thought unfinished. "She looked as she did when you married her."
Or someone like Lucius, is the implication here. He's not certain which one would have been more polite.
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Which was uncomfortable. But maybe even more so, as Lucius goes on to add; "Although her behaviours in retrospect struck much younger. She had--" And he's settled, a little, into the rhythm of casual conversation, whether thanks to the three-quarter glass of wine he's consumed, or because talking to people should not actually be the task they both make it into, for various reasons, not the least of which being navigating the ego sitting across from Snape right now. "--difficulties with financing, as one might expect of a girl from her family, in the situation Baedal presents.
"There will be little more surreal to me than to be starkly reminded of Draco upon lecturing her about what she could and could not afford."
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It's one of those rather dreadful situations where one much laugh to keep from crying - which he isn't likely to do, either. But the sentiment stands.
That, and the image is hilarious in all its profound melancholy. Lucius, standing over the woman who was his wife but wasn't, lecturing her as he did his son. About money. Severus has a very odd sense of humour.
"I can imagine."
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"You've an impressive imagination," is just as droll, reaching to collect the bottle to top up his own glass in careless splashes that never actually go beyond the glass's rim.
Set back down, closer to Severus if he wants it, before he takes up the glass again. "I suppose I ought be grateful that that's the only trace of fatherhood I've had to affect since being here." He doesn't sound like he is, but he doesn't sound like he isn't; it's almost an objective observation, stepping neatly around the sentiment of the matter, played for dry humour.
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Because inevitably, hoping aloud to keep someone away only results in drawing them in. Sirius Black, for example.
He refrains from comment, however. He doesn't know what it is Lucius might want; perhaps he misses Draco. Perhaps he, like Severus and Martha, might view Baedal as a city with some (some) potential for a life. Or perhaps he wants to keep his family as far from here as possible. 'Some potential' does not a suburban paradise make. Instead, he decides to redirect the conversation back to Narcissa Black. "There is little harm in telling you now that she purchased sleeping potions."
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Not to be callous, or anything, because Lucius Malfoy would never, but an eyebrow lifts a little cynically. "Well. No doubt she will be better rested wherever she's returned to, for a time."
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But the very idea that Lucius would ever resort to such crude humour as the first idea sets him not-quite-laughing again.
It's becoming clear to Severus that he is at that point for a person when frustration is so overwhelming, laughter is the only recourse. Helpless laughter, followed by irrational anger if emotions aren't curbed.
He refreshes his wine from the bottle between them, his jaw tightly clenched. When he does speak, when he has regained enough of his sense of emotional control, a few seconds have passed. Enough to nearly become an awkward silence. "I should hope she wasn't venturing into the fog. Not that I find the endeavor itself deserving of disapproval, but Narcissa at eighteen never struck me as the sort one might wish to take on an expedition to Muggle London, much less into the dangers surrounding the city. Narcissa at thirty, perhaps."
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It and the events that followed do tend to keep one up at night, after all. He flicks a glance up at Severus at mention of the imprisoning fog, something somewhat calculating in an attempt to read the other man's expression, before he pays attention only to his glass again.
"I very much doubt she did," he agrees, neutrally.
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Whether Severus knows or not about Lucius's forays into the fog, he doesn't care. He has spent enough of his life paying careful scrutiny to just what one Lucius Malfoy may or may not be up to. He's not going to do it here. He wants, in some small way, to get along with his old...
Comrade. Question mark. Friend. Question mark.
'Drinking partner' will suffice for now.
"It then begs the question: what was causing her sleepless nights? The obvious postulations of homesickness aside. Surely Baedal itself is hardly worse in nature than home."
Severus, of course, may have somewhat skewed perceptions of 'acceptable places for habitation' after three years on the Barge and, before that, twenty years of warfare.
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Because naturally, an ordinary life would be something Lucius cites as giving someone sleepless nights. It certainly hadn't been his favourite. "Or she was seeking attention," is a bit heartless, Lucius, but he's raised a teenager and she is close enough. He tosses back another sip of wine.
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He certainly wasn't thrilled on the Barge, but the mileage varied. This Lucius is fully in step.
Too, there is the issue of Martha that he has so deftly avoided discussing with - well, anyone save Narcissa and his doppelganger, and even those conversations were a result of a motivating factor in the form of Bellatrix Lestrange.
Whatever the case, he can't immediately think of anything further to say because Severus is not adept at small talk and broader conversation is impossible until he knows where he stands. Even with an enemy, he has found, he can have a fuller and more pleasant conversation than he can manage here. Old memories can't be drawn upon without possibly hitting the wall created by his own faithlessness, and new experiences seem to be out of bounds for them both.
So he remains silent, waiting to see if Lucius will pick up the thread of the conversation and direct them to a topic he deems suitable for an evening of drinking.
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Threads of conversation can be much the same, but in this case, he doesn't mind talking. A few months ago, he probably would have rivaled Severus in being an anti-social git and steadily drained the bottle without a word if he'd been allowed.
"I do not find it a greatly dramatic difference," he says, after a comfortable moment has slid by, not really looking at Severus, save for a flick of a glance back towards him. "Feelings of age and difference, between Britain and Baedal. That is my luxury of not dying. I suppose the charm has worn off for you-- years, you mentioned."
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The more he considers it, the more complex it becomes to him. The more he fidgets in his own way: a twitch of his right index finger, tapping on the tabletop in a nervous pattern.
"Three," he says at last, tossing the word out rather carelessly, as though it means nothing to him. Three years of memory, but not of life. He's still thirty-eight (or thirty-nine, perhaps), for all intents and purposes. How very unnerving. Perhaps he isn't following Lucius's commentary as closely as he ought to be - No, certainly isn't. He's just. Musing at this point. "I see little difference between Baedal and the places I've been. Or Britain as I knew it. I would quite willingly remain here, for all its...lack of convention."
There's a slightly rueful smirk, nearly a grimace for all that it's pained. "I have nothing to which I might return, after all - and Martha here. I suppose an aberration or two - a doppelganger here, Narcissa Black there - should hardly cause me concern."
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This is neutral conversational punctuation, considering pressing the point and topic but remaining quiet for the length of time it takes to consider Severus, and then his wine before sipping from it. "I had every intention to leave the country," he adds, almost flippantly. "Narcissa, naturally, insisted we remain. To see things through, is how she put it. There are few forces in the known world that can make that woman do anything she has decided she will not do."
And so, he remained in Britain, is what a tip of his wine glass is meant to indicate. He honestly doesn't know if Snape cares what became of him, after the war. Everyone seems inclined to go off inference and assumption, or just. Apathy. He isn't sure where his former(?) friend stands, but damn it all, he invited Lucius to drink and talk, and he shall do these things.
For some reason, admitting weakness (because to Lucius, anything that might show what he truly thinks and feels is that) in front of Snape the Younger is more difficult. The age disparity, perhaps. Their particular arrangement. "Including," he adds, "whatever force pulled me here."