multiversallogs | gifts from the heart, AWWWW.

Entry tags:

gifts from the heart, AWWWW.

Who: Rex Lewis, Ana Lewis, Odessa Wander, open to all
What: Rex has some going-away drinks after quitting his nursing gig and gifts his sister with a weapon.
Where: A low-key bar in Mog Hill and Ana's home in Syriac Well.
When: A few days after St. Kelley's.
Notes: I'll be tossing up two threads for Ana and Odessa, but if your character wants to run into Rex/has business with him and his engineering workshop ~~which may or may not take weapons contracts~~, feel free to start a new thread. It can be anywhere/anytime, I'm flexible and can make up reasons for Rex about.
Warnings: N/A

Rex should never have been taken from the Barge. Certainly, he'd been making progress. He'd learned that mind control was, perhaps, not the best way to get things done (if only because it had ways of backfiring, and then he was left with the consequences), and that he couldn't always take care of a problem through blowing it up. He could even function in society (unlike many of the other inmates), put on a polite face and work a legal job out of the shadows, come home to a partner (who he didn't even feel the urge to dominate. Progress.) and a cat, of all things. Rex Lewis with a cat. How... normal.

But he wasn't ready to return to society. Rex could be... functional, but he hadn't been rehabilitated. For months, he'd been coasting along, but without any supervision, the slide back into old habits was simply inevitable. First, he began drafting up designs for Baedal-compatible weapons. Just as an intellectual exercise. Then, well, he might as well build a model or two. Just to see if he could. And now that he had a few successful (if less sophisticated than he was accustomed to) prototypes of pulse pistols under his belt, it would only be a matter of time before he decided to take his little operation to the next level.

Now, if only he could figure out how to begin production of his nanomites again. The limitations of this world were nothing short of infuriating.

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"No, but I'm certain that you remember how well that ended up for me." He smirked slightly, giving him a bit of a squeeze as reassurance. It wasn't the physical setting of this place that bothered him, but rather the confinement of his daily life. He wanted his adventure back. He wanted his life as a soldier, though the interesting things afforded to him working in security was good enough for now.

He wanted so much...but he was getting very little. Rex was enough, for now, but Iago was a man who always had his sights set over the horizon.

"I'm not exactly certain what it is that has me restless. But I am."

He gave a half-nod, furrowing his brow as he considered how that ended for everybody who wasn't Iago, too. Luckily, he wasn't the sort to cast himself in the role of wife; otherwise, he'd be growing concerned for his own safety right now. "I do."

Rex was quiet for a moment, considering the variables, trying to narrow them down. "Is it the... living situation?" Domesticity wasn't either of their strong suits, and learning to live like a, well, normal couple was something of an adjustment.

Rex, personally, would've been happier with something a little less "young, urban professional" and a little more "lair."

Iago was afraid to say yes to that. Because it wasn' Rex or what he gave that Iago found stifling. But he, like Rex, didn't really have a lot of desire for "young, urban professional." He wanted his big house with too much room that he never saw. He wanted all of those things back.

Basically, he wanted his life back where he had been under the Master's rule. It had been oppressive and he knew it, but he felt like he was in control there. At least with enough control to be able to blame someone else when things went wrong. He felt like he had some sort of handle on his life.

"Yes and no." He dropped his arm. "And before you shout at me for...whatever it is that you might want to shout at me for...know that this isn't you. I was just never suited for this lifestyle." He smiled a bit, distantly. "I think...it's not so much the lifestyle, but...something different. I hate thinking like this. Perhaps...it isn't this place that ruined me. Perhaps it happened before then." Iago was always one to talk his thoughts aloud in order to get them situated, so, for the moment, Rex was just there for Iago to talk at. And he had reached a revelation.

"I think it happened at my 'redemption.' Rex...I don't think that was ever meant to happen."

Rex scowled briefly. "I wasn't going to shout." For once. Still, for Iago's sake, he shut up and didn't interrupt further. If he was a better person, he would've been concerned by that confession, that redemption wasn't meant to happen, that it was the start of his restlessness. But, to be honest, he wasn't. He was... relieved, actually. Rex touched Iago's elbow, signalling him to stop, then moved so that he was in front of the soldier, facing him.

"Well, the good thing about redemption is..." He took the other man's hand and pressed Iago's knuckles to his lips, briefly, then let go. He wasn't all about public displays of affection-- especially with another man-- so that was as far as he was going to go. "It's not permanent."

Iago watched him and stopped, allowing the display for a brief moment before he sighed and just smiled briefly. "Do you really want me to be that man again, Rex?" But he didn't wait for an answer. He just continued on. "I...just keep trying to remember the reason why I changed. I keep trying to remember what was so terrible about what I was and what I had before.

"Right and wrong are just...ideas. They're rules that I've learned but I don't fully understand. And I don't care to understand."

"They pushed it on you," he said. "The Admiral, the wardens... That ship was designed to force redemption through manipulation. Through trauma." Rex was lowering his voice now, speaking in a rushed, angry hiss as certain memories were pushing themselves to the forefront of his mind. "Some of us aren't meant for redemption. It's not natural to us, it's just... reprogramming." Rex snorted. "Really, if the Admiral wanted more permanent results, he should have consulted me." Just skip the torture and go straight for the brainwashing.

Rex took a breath, closing his eyes momentarily. Once he opened them again, he looked up at Iago, somewhat more relaxed. "I just want you to be true to yourself. There's no shame in being a... viper."

From Rex, that was a compliment.

Iago reached out and brushed a hand past his cheek. "Be true to myself?" It sounded poetic, but he wasn't buying it. The second part, though...now that was distinctly more intriguing. "But I have no shame in it. Do you know that's what they call me? A snake. I always liked the sound of it."

He glanced back towards their apartment and then sighed. "I think I should feel...guilty for it."

Rex pulled up one corner of his mouth in a little half-grin. "I like the sound of it, too." For Iago, and for himself. He followed Iago's gaze back to the apartment, his own feelings conflicted. It was a home-- his first home in years-- but was it the sort of thing either of them really wanted?

"Why?"

"Because so many people contributed to that redemption. And it took only months to undo it." The effects of that were slowly wearing off, but they were still there. He still recognized what he was supposed to be feeling and why, but it was just a lesson. A lesson he might have learned in school and forgotten years and years later.

He considered that for a moment. If anybody from the Barge heard them talking right now-- any wardens, at least-- he was sure they would feel betrayed by the course of this conversation. But, the Doctor aside, maybe Harper, Rex didn't much care how they would feel, even the wardens he was partial to. If mischief and wickedness made Iago happy, if it was what came naturally to him, then why stifle it?

"Because it wasn't what you really wanted." A pause, then he added, with genuine curiosity, "Was it?"

Iago was quick to shake his head. "Rex...who wants to be redeemed? Who wants to go through that for a redemption process that is at best flawed and at worst dangerous?" He shrugged. "And what would you get out of it? A chance to be a warden? Or a chance to return home, to a life that you had been away from for years, to a time you had been away from for years, and you're supposed to make things better? Live your life?

"Maybe it works for those who graduate in the span of a few months. But not for me." He started walking away, though he slowed to make sure that Rex followed. "I became a warden to stall for more time. To be with you...and to give me time to think."

"People who feel guilt," he ventured blandly, no real emotion behind those words. He wondered how close he'd come to redemption, himself, and if he was missing anything at all by leaving thoughts of it behind. Why work for it when he didn't have to?

Rex followed after Iago, then quickened his steps to match his pace. "If I'd graduated, what would you have done?"

Iago shrugged. "I'm not certain." He was actually feeling a bit better after revealing what he did and the heavy ache in his chest was gone. He wanted a drink, or two, but he felt...good. "I'm not certain. That depends on what you would have done, Rex. If you had asked me to come with you, I would have. If you had asked me to stay, I would have gone home."

"I would've asked you to come with me," he answered. "Unless I changed... dramatically, for some reason." After a beat, Rex looked at Iago, smirking a little. "So, in a way, this is almost like I've graduated. Not the ideal world, but the Admiral isn't one to keep his bargains, now is he."

Rex was quiet for a moment, then continued, his voice quieter. "Do you think we're here because the Admiral realized we were beyond 'hope'?"

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gifts from the heart, AWWWW.

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