multiversallogs | This is a cold war

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This is a cold war

Who: Stephanie Brown and Barbara Gordon
What: Planning
Where: Steph's apartment, then Babs' place
When: Just after the transmissions
Notes: none
Warnings: Police brutality, violence, swearing, might contain mentions of PTSD

Steph only sees one transmission, and she doesn't consider that there may be more -- the first had been unaccompanied, although she does not that this isn't the same as the first. It's not anonymous, but somehow she doubts Karen Nakai is responsible for sending out the transmission.

Honestly though, she's not really thinking after she watches the scene play out on her CiD. They're just kids. After automatically pressing the record button, she has to put the CiD down to stop from breaking it, and then when her hands start hurting from being clenched in such tight fists, she forces herself to take a breath and relax. It doesn't work.

"Motherfucking piece of shit assholes." There's no one to hear it, but she swears anyway, and that actually does help a little. The next step is wiping the tears from her eyes and getting dressed. It doesn't matter that it's 5am and she'd been planning to go to sleep soon, she needs to do something.

There's no doubt about what she has to do. This isn't a line of investigation she can follow up on her own, and the first person that comes to mind is Oracle. So when Steph is dressed and composed enough to actually leave the house, that's where she heads.

She runs the whole way, partly out of a sense of urgency, but mostly because there's too much anger and energy in her system right now and running is the only option right now. She wants to go pick a fight and beat the shit out of someone to help herself calm down, but that's selfish when there are more important things to worry about, like tracking down the militia agent responsible for hurting kids and beating the shit out of him. As she runs, she mentally starts running through ideas for how to go about this; she needs to investigate the owner of the CiD, she needs to find the kids she saw, she needs to find the militia agent featured and kill him.

The thought doesn't really startle her, it's not the first time she's had a similar one, but the fact of it settles like something heavy in her chest. If she finds who did this, she'll kill him. Bruce's rules don't matter, Tim's and Babs' opinions don't matter, not even Cass's does right now. There's no Arkham Asylum to send this man to, no Blackgate Prison for him to rot in. There's no justice system that's going to stop this man from hurting kids again, so she'll have to do it. She doesn't know how it will affect her, whether she'll be able to cope with it, but her feelings aren't important. She has to stop this.

She's crying again by the time she reaches where Babs is staying; hot angry tears that don't stop until she presses her palms against her eyelids and just breathes for a minute. She forces the thoughts of violence out of her mind and just focuses on what she'll need to do. Talk to Babs. Find the kids. Stop the militia.

It never occurs to her that she should wait until a reasonable time. She doubts Babs sleeps much, and even if she's asleep right now, she'd want to see this. So the knock on the door is unhesitant.

"Babs, it's Steph. I need to come in."

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"Solid compromise," Barbara says, a hint of weary amusement in her voice. She knows damn well the desire to shoulder everything yourself, to spare your friends the darkest side of what you do. It'd a good thing, really, that she's always had stubborn friends.

Hopefully Steph does, too.

"There will almost certainly be other networks of people doing their own thing. I'd like to coordinate with them, if possible, instead of getting in each other's way." Her fingers drum against the wheels. "I don't know if this is Hellsing's purview, but it would be foolish to rule out the possibility."

"Thanks," for letting it go, and for letting Steph makes the decision hersef. She knows it must be hard for Babs to make these compromises.

"I woul to, but I don't know how," it doesn't need saying that the CiDs aren't secure, even with Babs' skill, it'd still be risky. But she knows a little more about Hellsing, "I doubt they can do anything officially, otherwise the militia would shut them down. But the people I've met... the might do something on their own time."

Barbara, fortunately, has learned too tight a leash can strangle a good partnership.

"If you run in to them, just try to be cooperative. Questions first, punches later, that kind of thing." She knows it's time-honoured tradition for vigilantes to kick each other in the face, but there really isn't time for that.

"It's good to know there are righteous people in that organisation, then."

"I only bricked Tim in the face 'cause he started it," It's about as close to a joke as she'll get tonight, but it's a start. And she will take Babs' advice seriously.

"Yeah." She's quiet for a moment, obviously contemplating something. When she eventually talks, she isn't looking at Babs and her voice is quiet, "What am I gonna do with him when I find him?"

She can't exactly hand him over to law enforcement, but... Bats aren't supposed to kill.

Her lips quirk at that. "And Bruce deserved that punch in the face." She's amused, but she's also entirely sincere. Besides, she can hardly judge. All of them have tried to beat up Batman at least once.

The smile fades at the question, and she regards Stephanie in silence for a few long moments.

Then, "We could organise our own holding facility, in theory, but that would take time. The trails could be cold by then." She lifts a hand to rub her temples. "Beating the crap out of him might be enough of a deterrent, but that's never a guarantee."

Her brief smile at talking about punching Bruce fades as well.

"There are plenty of abandoned buildings around the place, but we'd have to watch the guy and feed him and stuff, "It's pretty obvious how she feels about that -- this isn't Gotham, where they have access to Bruce's practically endless bank accounts.

She goes silent again, her hands clenched in fists at her sides, after a moment she looks up, her expression kind of pained and desperate, "Babs..." She wants the man dead, but she can't find the words to explain it without sounding awful.

Barbara nods; they don't have nearly the resources they do back home, where it might be a feasible option.

She knows what Steph is thinking, looking into her eyes. It's not as though the possibility hasn't occurred to her.

Finally, quietly, she says, "There are some things you can't ever take back, Steph. Things that stay with you for the rest of your life."

"I know," she's not the kid who tried to strangle her father to death anymore, she knows it's something she cant take back.

"I won't... ask for permission, but can I still be Batgirl if I take him out?" That's all that matters to her right now; Batgirl means so much to her, but at the end of the days, it's Babs'.

Barbara reaches out, then, to take Stephanie's hand. Her voice is low and sad, but there's an intent warmth to it.

"You won't be any less a hero in my eyes for doing what you feel needs to be done, Stephanie." She's not Bruce. Not all killing is made equal. Sometimes, saving people comes with a heavy price.

She knows it's dangerous to think some people deserve to die, but it's less so here, without the power she wields at home. And when she sees those kids in her head -

Well.

She only wishes she could spare Stephanie from doing it.

She knows pretty much as soon as Babs takes her hand that it's going to be okay, but she still holds on tightly.

"I'm not a hero," It's not self-deprecating, Steph just doesn't think of herself that way. Heroes are people like Superman, she's just doing what she thinks is the right thing, "But thank you."

Quietly, she adds, "I'm glad Cass isn't here." Because she knows she couldn't do it if Cass was around to know about it.

Barbara nods. She never thought she'd be glad not to have Cassandra close, but -

"I'd never be able to argue with her, either." She can argue with Bruce easily, about pretty much everything. Not Cass.

After a moment, quietly, "Tim and Kon - they may be older, but I doubt they'll approve. All the more reason to be stealthy about this."

"We've got the same weakness," she manages a small, sad smile. She knows it'd break Cass's heart to find out that Steph would kill and Babs would allow it.

"Tim'd freak out," she's not sure what Kon's stance on killing is, but she bets he'd listen to Tim before anyone else, "Are you okay with keeping this from him?" Steph is, but Babs needs to be, too.

Her lips quirk in a wry, weary smile. "Keeping things from people I love is pretty much habit at this point." It would hurt Tim more to know; that's all the justification she needs not to feel particularly guilty about it.

She shakes her head. "Tim's a good kid, but he listens to Bruce too much. And apparently that only gets worse."

"You're not allowed to keep things from me, got it?" She tries to sound stern, but they both know it's pointless. If Babs wants to keep secrets from Steph, she will.

"I've gotten so good at driving him away," she doesn't even know how to feel about this. She still loves Tim, she's just not in love with him. That doesn't mean it'll hurt less if he decides to cut her out of his life.

"I'll try my best." It's the most she can give, and utterly sincere.

"I know how that feels," Barbara says quietly. "I got pretty good at that in general, for a while."

"Thank you," she knows how much it means for Babs to even give that.

"You reckon we're doomed to be spinsters?" It's an attempt to lighten the mood, she even adds a smile for effect.

Barbara smirks up at her. "Crazy old bat ladies?"

"Exactly. And if Selina hasn't found someone by then, we could invite her over for bingo once a week." Joking around helps ease some of the tension that's settled over her since seeing the transmissions.

Barbara snickers into her palm before grinning up at her. "I ever tell you about that time she, Dinah and Helena took a road trip?" It's a nice distraction from what they've seen, what they're planning. They need that break, sometimes.

"Oh my god, how is the world still intact after that?" The three of them would be like a force of nature, considering what they're like alone.

"The world? Try my head. Most frustrating op I ever pulled, all because Dinah has horrible taste in men." Her expression is fond, though. "And then they run into Shiva." A beat. "Who I'm pretty sure was putting the moves on Dinah. In a Shiva kind of way." Not that she's grumpy about that, or anything.

This is Steph's WTF expression.

"Shiva hit on Dinah?" And then because Steph can't resist teasing, she adds, "I'm surprised you didn't try to blow her up."

Without missing a beat, "No, that was Gardner's alien clone."

"I'm really glad I don't live your life, mine is so uncomplicated," Clones are almost always bad news.

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This is a cold war

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