one of those bells that now and then rings [closed]

[deservesadaisy]

Who: Ivan and Ilde
What: romantic evening in
Where: Ivan's flat
When: Givdi evening
Notes: No one but them thinks this is remotely a good idea.
Warnings: TBA as necessary

It wasn't surprising, that Ilde was tense. Mothers-to-be, especially for the first time, often were with much less reason. But, while their eventually future was still something that was a bit murky (and that caused Daniil to sigh in despair whenever it was alluded to), Ivan felt he could help with the stress eating at her here and now.

He hadn't said much except to arrange her clearing her evening and letting her know what time to come to his flat. He'd bought the dinner; he could cook, but was out of the habit. He'd also bought some fae wine for her, and gone to the trouble of a tasteful flower arrangement and candles. It was, he thought, a bit of a cliche but he hoped she would like it all the same. He was, of course, impeccable, but that might or might not have been for the occasion - any earlier feeding showed only in his flush of health, not in any rogue spots on his collar. He'd set it all out on the floor, with cushions for them, and it had a bit of a bohemian air to keep it from being taken too extremely seriously.

Overall, he thought as he surveyed his work, it would do. And she needed an evening off.

Comments

[deservesadaisy]

He shifts, almost reclining against the pillows and settling her against him. He seems to be sifting through, selecting what he'd like to show her.

"The first time you came to my flat, how frank and bold you were about what you wanted. I remember that night extremely well." It had been funny, and almost touching in hindsight, how it was meant to just be that he appealed to her and that she'd like to shag him if he were up for it.

"I remember the day I died," he adds, after a quiet moment. "...both days, I suppose. Vividly. Firsts, often, and lasts. Those tend to linger, if they matter." And even sometimes when they don't, in the wider scheme, at least to him. He remembers Saigon falling. He remembers being in Paris for the end of the First World War. He remembers the night he met Daisy, though that seems impolitic to say.

[rhinemaid]

She wonders if he thinks of his last day before Baedal as the day that he died again or the last day that he was married to Daisy; Ivan's wife is still a vague and abstract concept to her, and the further away they get from her, the less she's inclined to be worried or threatened by it. He's allowed (how generous of her) to have cared about other people before he knew she existed, that's all right. As long as she's most important now, and she questions that less and less.

(Not 'not at all', but- less.)

If she were older, she supposes, she might recount something of her own in return, but- she'd been a child before Prometheus, and the passage of time in captivity was blurry and painful. He knows, at least in the broad strokes, about most of the days since Prometheus, especially since increasingly he's been around for more of them than he hasn't. So instead, she says, “I was very pleased with myself.”

[deservesadaisy]

"You were, which is a mode that's quite becoming on you. I would have never guessed it would have become this, then." He probably should have, but then it had just seemed a pleasant diversion. Very pleasant.

[rhinemaid]

Ilde had had no expectation, and in retrospect doesn't see any reason why she should have - but here they are, either way, and at least as far as the two of them go, it isn't so bad, she thinks. It could be better, but it isn't bad. (In her opinion, which is not necessarily the commonly held one on this subject. It isn't anyone else's business, she thinks, unless that person is Sonja.)

“Sometimes I can't tell if you mind it.” Probably it would be easier, without her; she's nothing can be called convenient.

[deservesadaisy]

"If I minded it, I would have put an end to it," he says, after a moment, honestly. "Or, at the very least, made us both miserable by now. Every lover is a bit of trouble - I'm more than a bit, I'm certain."

Understatement, Ivan.

"Do you know, I used to make people nervous, back home, if I went any length of time without someone, though. I always wonder what they worried I'd do."

[rhinemaid]

“You concentrate on me an awful lot,” she says, speculatively, tipping his chin up a bit with her index finger, absent almost. “And you still manage to find time to be a proper prick to the rest of the world. Maybe they just didn't want to see what kind of an arsehole you can be without a distraction.”

She's a little bit proud of herself for this bit of logical reasoning.

[deservesadaisy]

He nips at her finger, lightly. "As critical as you are of me, I'd hate to see you with someone you didn't like at all." Or maybe she'd be very nice to them.

[rhinemaid]

“I make observations about you,” she corrects him, immediately, with the self-satisfied conclusion, “it isn't my fault if there aren't many flattering ones to be made.” That sounds like a personal problem, Ivan.

[deservesadaisy]

"I can't imagine you'd bother with me if I were without some uses," he pointed out. She'd named at least one, after all.

[rhinemaid]

“I do have some uses for you,” she says, laughing, leaning into him. “Some. I don't think I could find anyone else who'd serve.” Maybe she could, maybe she couldn't; the main point, and the point she's been attempting to drive home to him since Ruudary, is that she doesn't want to and she will resist any and all attempts to make her. Whether other people are doing it or he is.

He said she could keep him, so she's sinking in her nails and holding on.

[deservesadaisy]

"Spoiled thing," he observes, amused, but comfortable for her closeness. "I think it's just that we're mad in complimentary ways." Which he means a little more fondly than others who make the observation might.

[rhinemaid]

“Well, see? Where would I find someone to put up with my bullshit the way you do.” Notably, none of this is a disagreement with the 'spoiled' assessment, because at this point it's arguably a personality trait that she's not really inclined to object to anyway.

[deservesadaisy]

"Even if I could think of someone who would, it would be in my best interest not to tell you," he points out with a quiet laugh.

[rhinemaid]

“I think I can live without knowing.” After all- she's not looking.

[deservesadaisy]

He tilts her chin up to kiss her. "I'm glad you're staying." For all he's still not sure it's a good idea (actually, he's fairly sure it will somehow go hideously wrong, sooner or later), he selfishly doesn't want to give her up.

[rhinemaid]

“I told you,” she reminds him, bumping her hand against his thigh. “I told you ages ago I wasn't going anywhere.” Maybe now it's actually starting to sink in that she wasn't fucking around when she said that- it's not so strange that it might take a while, all things considered.

[deservesadaisy]

"You did," he allows her. "I didn't disbelieve you." Not exactly, at least. He hadn't thought she was lying, just that she might not have thought it through. Now it seems more likely that he underestimated her stubbornness and her capacity for holding on

[rhinemaid]

The problem with Ilde (one of the...) is that while she is as likely to think her decisions through before she makes them, she's equally likely to make the bad decision anyway, if it's what she wants. Not doing it blindly doesn't mean not doing it at all- and she can't account for everything. She can't see everything, looking at the world through her particular set of filters.

Sometimes that's messier than others. Her personal life has always been interesting.

“Well, now you know for sure.”

[deservesadaisy]

Ivan kisses her again, longer. "I do, yes. You're very patient with me, you know. And I do fret, sometimes." And he was sometimes curiously domestic. And sometimes he ripped people's throats out. She seemed not to particularly mind any of those things about him, which he would not have guessed. Then again, she wasn't human, and at home, humans were really the only other option besides vampires, and he'd never been quite that masochistic.

[rhinemaid]

“I am extremely patient with you. I am practically saint-like.” In literally no way.

[deservesadaisy]

"I would know less to do with a saint than you'd know to do with a gentleman." Evidently, given the Boromir example. "And so now we see how things go from here, I suppose."

[rhinemaid]

Ilde has some very fond memories of Boromir, but it must be said that she'd never have respected him in the morning.

“I like the way they're going lately.” Closer together, she means.

[deservesadaisy]

"This evening, or in general?" he asks, though he knows what she actually means.

[rhinemaid]

“You know what I mean,” she says, because she's confident that he does and because she feels she's been sufficiently forthcoming already and doesn't need to go into great detail if she doesn't feel like it. They're doing better than they have been for weeks- she likes that.

[deservesadaisy]

"Yes, I suppose I do." He's pleased, though - pleased that the dinner evidently pleased her, and pleased that (for tonight) it seems like their affair isn't a thing that is totally and unarguably doomed. Perhaps they can make it work, with some flexibility. Or enough denial.