multiversallogs | One Light in the Darkness

Entry tags:

One Light in the Darkness

Who: Garrus Vakarian, Jane Shepard
What: Garrus has finally let the good Commander out of the arrival room and.. now what?
Where: The inn.
When: Misdi, the evening likely.
Notes: Everyone's just confused. Yep.
Warnings: None yet.

Garrus had ended the 'call' with a bit more fumbling on his part. He imagined that one of these days he'd quit fat fingering the stupid device, but he couldn't help but think it was a little racist that the things were suited for the hands of smaller species. Seriously. It's not like whoever brought him here in the first place wasn't expecting a turian. ... Right? Being angry at this strange new world in general made it a little easier, even if it was ridiculous.

But whatever.

He left the room he'd been assigned to, which he'd simply traded the arrival room for since he'd made no real effort to venture outside as of yet. He ought to, that much he knew, but there was a larger part that really wanted to believe that it was all some elaborate fabrication that would eventually end. Whereas going outside might just cement the reality of things.

He mulled all of this over as he navigated his way back to the arrival room he'd come from. Hopefully, it would be the same one or else he would just have to keep trying doors until he hit the right one. The door swung inward once he'd turned the knob and he peered inside expectantly, if a little wary. There was always that chance that he had chosen the wrong room and someone far less trustworthy might be lurking behind it with a gun and not Shepard as he'd anticipated.

Garrus still had the kinetic barriers his armor generated, but he wasn't very keen on relying on them (say to avoid having the other half of his face blown off) until he had a better idea if the makeup of this place had done anything to really screw with his tech.

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"Menae," he said as he opened the door and waved her on ahead. Manners, you know.

"... It's Palaven's largest moon," he added as an afterthought. It occurred to him that maybe she had no idea what or where that was, even if he was aware she had a tendency to make it her business to know as much about anything as possible. "Our work was buying time for our people down on the homeworld.."

Garrus was suddenly glad for the privacy as well. There were things about him, things he thought about, that only she ever knew about. He didn't see any reason to change that now.

Shepard frowned, giving Garrus a sharp look.

On one hand, that might explain some things. On the other...

"That's impossible. We went to Menae, to get the Primarch. I met you there. You joined me on the Normandy. That was weeks ago."

Well, he managed not to stand there with his mouth open. That was a plus. Still, to say he was shocked would be an understatement.

"As far as I knew, the Alliance still had you grounded. Between keeping the Reapers out and the communications black outs, I wasn't sure what was happening.." His tone dropped, and he found himself averting his gaze awkwardly again. "I was worried. I didn't know what was going on with Earth.. if you were somewhere they'd struck.."

A mandible twitched in the beginnings of a weak smirk, and he looked back toward her again.

"Though really, the idea that there might be two of me.. Well. I didn't think the galaxy could handle that."

Shepard had to shake her head at him. Only Garrus would manage to crack a joke at a time like this.

That was part of why she loved him. He always kept her grounded.

"Someone on the network mentioned something about people coming from the same universe but... different points in time," she murmured.

"I was on Earth when the Reapers hit. Anderson helped me get to the Normandy, to get off-planet. He stayed behind."

It's not like he didn't expect that they would discuss the war. Fill in the blanks. But this changed so much. Weeks had gone by. He was there and yet.. not?

Trying to wrap his mind around this was going to take awhile. If it happened at all. Did it even really matter anymore?

Yes, something in him insisted. Because ultimately you're hoping to make it back there someday before it's too late.

"Earth is in very good hands because of it, I suspect." He sounded confident purely for her benefit, which was a difficult thing to maintain, but anything less and he felt like he'd only make it worse.

"And I suppose you already know exactly what I was doing then.." He wanted to ask her what happened in those weeks that were in his future, but given the enemy they were facing he couldn't imagine it was a lot of good news.

Shepard rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to gather her thoughts. "It's so weird to think it's only a few weeks. So much has happened. Assuming you're even... the same Garrus I knew. I mean..."

She threw up her hands in confusion, thinking again of his reaction when she'd tried to kiss him. She'd just assumed... Well. Garrus knew her, but did they have the same history? Had this Garrus spent that night with her? Did he have the same feelings for her?

"It does raise some.. interesting questions. But I'm a soldier, not a scientist. I'm not so good at theory. I don't know how it is that I woke up here before you ever got to Menae and yet you say I was with you all along.."

He began to pace a bit, arms folded, crossing down and back in the little room in only a few strides either way.

"I thought of all the things I'd miss if what I'd read was true. I was angry that something beyond my control forced me out of the fight. 'I should be there', I kept telling myself. 'When Shepard makes that final push, when we drive the Reapers back for good, it should have been me watching her back. Like old times. Like it's always been.' That's what I was thinking. I wondered what everyone was thinking back home. Probably that I'd died somewhere.." It all came out in a rush, just like that other time. Once again he felt an overwhelming need for something to just go right and now things were beyond complicated. The universe seemed to have gone on just fine without him. Or with.. whoever it was that she'd known all that time.

Shepard let him ramble for a while - yeah, this was definitely Garrus - then she reached out and touched his arm.

"Whatever the case - it seems as though we've ended up in the same place again. I'm starting to think that, at least, isn't a coincidence, whatever the cause of it."

The touch was calming, as it was the last time that had happened, the full realization of how glad he was that she was there hitting him all at once.

"Well. You know how it goes. I get to scope the situation out first, then you show up, and inevitably I follow you into one suicide mission or another. I'm sure we'll be back to old routines in no time."

"We always have made a good team," she agreed, managing a small smile.

She really wouldn't know what to do with herself without Garrus around.

"I guess... I'm just not sure if you want me to tell you what happened during those few weeks, or... should we just start over?"

"You know I wouldn't make you discuss anything you weren't comfortable talking about.." He approached the topic very carefully. He didn't know what she'd seen. What she might have lost. That of course would all be intertwined with whatever had been with.. whatever that other person was.

"But as far as we're concerned," and he put a bit of emphasis on the word. "I don't mind starting over. Maybe I could find you a better bottle of wine this time."

That last statement made her laugh - in relief as much as simply being amused. Because, of course, he had found her a better bottle of wine. Whatever was going on here, weird space-time mix-ups, or magic, or whatever - he was still her Garrus. And that was a huge relief.

"I'll accept that. We can take things a day at a time, see how it goes."

But his mention of wine brought something else to her mind. Something kind of imperative.

"Have you been finding the right kind of food here?"

"That's been.. an issue. I've had people over the network hint that they knew where to go for a decent meal around here, but I have my doubts as to whether they cater to.. particular diets. I need to talk to someone who might actually know about that. That's another reason why I thought I'd woken up in my own personal hell."

He scowled and crossed his arms again. For once the grumbling would be to someone who understood.

"At least the last time I went this long I had a steady stream of mercs to shoot at."

Shepard frowned in concern. "You could..." She hated to suggest it, but... "Try putting in a request? These people who call themselves gods seem to be able to occasionally get things for us."

"Gods? Right. I did read about that.."

The idea of it irritated him for a few reasons.

"I'm disinclined to believe in gods. Turians stopped worshiping deities when we no longer needed legends.." He couldn't help but sigh.

"Why can't things ever be easy? Or logical."

"I know. I don't like it any more than you do." She shrugged. "But sometimes you have to use the resources available. And you need to eat, Garrus."

He couldn't deny that. This was really something he couldn't be stubborn about. Besides, it had made him a bit cranky and he'd already snapped at someone unintentionally because of it.

"... They didn't happen to tell you how that worked, did they?"

Something about the idea of praying to the unknown whatever only to be rewarded with some dextro-friendly sandwich seemed ridiculous, and he couldn't quite suppress the small chuckle at the thought of it.

"Whoever answered you seems to have been more willing to offer help, rather than just ask probing questions."

"I think you just... ask them. Maybe on the network?"

Yeah, she wasn't about to pray, either. But she looked Garrus up and down, a faint smile on her face. "Maybe it had something to do with your ugly mug," she teased.

He grinned at her, mandibles flaring for an appropriately toothy one.

"Maybe the vid broadcast wasn't the best introduction, sure. But actually I did have one interested party. I don't know what it was, but she was very interested in my guns. Competition?"

"Guess that's up to you," she said, feigning disinterest. "Do you think she'll actually believe all your war stories? And be impressed by them?"

"Oh, yeah. And I don't know what you're talking about, Shepard. My ability to catch a missile with my teeth and still look this good is more than impressive. You should know."

She laughed. "Try not to exaggerate Archangel's exploits too much. She might not have as much patience as I do when you get caught up in those calibrations of yours."

"Yes, you were very patient. But I'm sure knowing I was giving you perfectly working Reaper tech helped. I'm not sure there's anything here worth calibrating."

He held up the little CiD as an example.

"What is this even? I wonder if anything can be done with this or if tampering is considered a threat to society as well."

"They're pretty awful," she agreed. "Not exactly optimized for turian use..." Shepard shook her head. "Everything seems so backward and superstitious. I haven't even seen any other non-humans yet."

"There's a text function, but I'm not even going to attempt it and I doubt there's anyway to sync it with omni-tools.."

A shrug of a shoulder and he put the device away again.

"At least you'll fit right in. You.. deserve a break. Time with your own without worrying about politicking and alien relations.." He took a beat, realizing that too could be misinterpreted. "... Political relations."

Shepard glanced away at that, frowning. "If I'm here for any reason, it's not to have a break," she said quietly. "I failed, Garrus. We got intel, about some information housed on Thessia. Information that could be the key to stoping the Reapers, but Thessia was under heavy attack. We fought our way there - people gave their lives to get me to that information. I had it, it was practically in my hands. And then Cerberus showed up, and snatched it out from under me." Kai Leng, that son of a bitch. If she ever got back, she would make sure he paid for everything he'd done. "Thessia fell, and I failed."

Thessia?

It was surprising to hear, but not unexpected. They'd hit Earth. Palaven. It was only a matter of time. He just wasn't sure what to say. At any other time, sure. They'd return to the Normandy and formulate a new plan. There would always be another fight. Another battle. Any number of ways to reconcile the situation when things went sideways.

"Thessia falling wasn't your fault. I'm sure of that. If it was already under attack, there was nothing you could do to prevent that even if you'd gotten off-world with that intel. It doesn't mean you lost the war, Shepard. Everyone's still in the fight.."

What else should he say? There might not be a chance to go back and make things right. But he was worried for her. Stepping closer, he set his hands on her shoulders and peered down at her intently. She needed to focus now, not evade, and listen good.

"You can't blame yourself for that. Not now. You can hold onto that anger, remember it if and when we go home. Use it to make the Illusive Man pay for everything he's done. But that guilt.." He shook his head, words failing him then. It really didn't need to be said. He knew the feeling of lives lost over crucial failings, if marginally. It was toxic, and that wasn't even an entire planet.

"... you can't keep holding onto that."

The contact was nice. Reassuring. She met his gaze, once so alien, and now the most familiar to her here. The most important, by far.

"I know. I do. It doesn't help anyone to sit around feeling like every death is somehow my fault." She sighed, and took one of his hands in her own. "I just... For the first time in a long time, I honestly didn't know what to do next," she admitted quietly.

"But I know you would've pulled it off in the end and gotten back at them tenfold. That's who you are, how it's always been.." He smiled at her, giving her hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. It was one of those things he'd picked up over time in his observations of humans. Those sorts of subtle actions seemed to be particularly comforting to them.

"Remember when things used to be a lot simpler? When the Council grounded you and it felt like a dead end? If memory serves, you turned that situation completely around and ultimately saved us all. The solution would've come to you, in time."

She relaxed - just a bit - for the first time since she woke up in that room. "I've always had help," she pointed out. "Which is why I'm so glad you're here. Between the two of us, I'd say we can figure most things out. Like how to get you some food that won't kill you. And where we're going to live."

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One Light in the Darkness

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