multiversallogs | i am hung with graveyard flowers;

Who: Ilde Decima and Hasi; OPEN
What: The water helps her.
Where: The Gross Tar; initially near her waterfall territory in Raven's Gate, after that various areas.
When: Givdi with Hasi; open after that through Shundi.
Notes: Specify time/place (if not Raven's Gate) if you tag in, please!
Warnings: Descriptions of LM:A-related horrors to follow in the thread with Hasi; discussion of rape & related fall out in thread with Jae.

When she finally goes down to the water, it feels so good that she hates herself for a moment sliding in, her clothes on the bank under an illusion. It soaks into her skin like she belongs there and she's glad that she got there first, that Hasi isn't there yet, because sinking into it hurts a little and it's-- not anybody's business what internal conflicts she's having. She just died. She's allowed to feel...whatever this is that she's feeling, and whatever it is she's going to feel it at the bottom of the river for a while, her tail catching light as it flicks up before she dives.

She'll surface, eventually.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ilde switches her message transmission to video without even considering whether or not Jae will recognize her this way-- it's her number, her face is still...close, it doesn't matter, she has to tell him this properly. From the river, yes, her tail partly visible behind her and her skin gleaming as she leans over the rock to send her message--

"Someone has to keep an eye on Megan. Take care of her. Find somebody who can help in case Sonja--" a breath, "--takes too long. He's used for..." She closes her eyes for a moment, then tries again, "She could die, Jae. That's what he does."

That's why she's never quite seemed friendly, why she doesn't trust him, why she holds Hilmi at such a forcible arm's reach - because this is proof that she can't trust him, and it's not just whether or not he behaves around her. This is how he behaves with other people, and there are certain things that even Ilde's fucked up approach to morality can't tolerate.

"I know somebody-- he might be able to help, I'll try to get a hold of him."

It's startling, but it's somehow the best possible time for her to have revealed herself. Nothing is going to interrupt how awful he feels for Megan, especially not his own internalized discomfort about non-humans. Instead of looking frightened or repulsed, he just looks at her, and thinks about the magic that makes her, and the courage it's taken her to be her in the midst of everything that's gone on.

"Please see if you can." His voice is hushed, expression drawn. He's not going to cry, or sound desperate - it's just not something he does (anymore) - but the gravity of this is as weighted as anything he's ever been confronted with, after Korea.

"Will he come to your house?"

"Not if he has any self-preservation instinct," she says, savagely; she's going to try and contact Severus, soon, and then she doesn't know what. This isn't something that it's ever been on her to try to navigate, Hilmi isn't her responsibility and she's deliberately made sure to keep a distance from this aspect of him, and it's a sick and angry feeling that she has to because he won't. Sonja isn't here, and so Ilde has to try, and she just wants to be ill.

The way he looked at her, the way he said her name; he knew. He knows. It's another unpleasant awareness that she doesn't know what to do with.

"If he bothers you-"

It's out of his mouth before he really thinks it through, and so when he stops short he smiles; humorless, a little apologetic. What the hell is he going to do? Kick Hilmi's ass? He is, presumably, some kind of soldier, a fighter, someone from that apocalyptic world who's used to kill people. Like Ilde? - Who certainly doesn't need his protection (what little of it he could even offer), but she doesn't need to be dealing with this, either.

"...If you call around, about the antidote. I'll deal with it."

Somehow.

"Okay. I'll-- I can do that." It's something solid to focus on; direction is good, direction keeps her from coming apart at the seams. (Sonja would know what to do, Sonja would deal with this, she would deal with Hilmi, Ilde isn't equipped--)

"Okay," she repeats, quieter.

"It's going to be fine. We're going to fix Megan and I'm going to handle him and he's not going to get near you, or her."

When he speaks steady like that - it sounds believable, like he believes himself. Jae does, not because he has a plan, but because this is how it has to be. He doesn't know what he's going to do just yet, but he knows he has to take care of this. If the woman who normally keeps this man in line is gone, somebody has to step up. Part of him, the part that shakes and wants to hide, is shining a light on the fact that if Hilmi weren't fae this would be so much less dire, and - and he hates himself a little for the thought, but hates Hilmi even more. How dare he do this, when they have so much to fight against already.

Ilde rests her face in her hands for a few moments in silence, so quiet as she gets a firm grip on her composure - or as firm as she's ever getting, the past few days. Finally, very quietly, "He knows what happened to me. I saw it, I could-- I could tell, he knows and that means he knows what happened afterwards and I don't, and I really--"

She needs to know, but she can't stand the idea of having to ask him. Not now.

Oh.

(No, he thinks, like glass-)

"What-" the question dies on his lips, he can't get it out. He's terrified, horrified suddenly, cold in his stomach, because this on top of everything else - why? He doesn't want to look at her, not because it's too difficult but because he feels like he's invading something that isn't his, just by witnessing it.

"I'll find out."

When she looks up, even the fact that she's covered in water regardless leaves little doubt as to why her eyes are wet. She's not good at this and it's not something she wants anyone else to witness, but sometimes it's outside of her control and she just has to breathe. For a little while. Just to breathe.

"Thank you," she says, barely.

"Don't be alone for too long."

He'd hate it.

"I can throw a key to my apartment into the river here, if you want."

"...yes, please." Just until they get this figured out, she's not sure she wants to have to go into this over and over again with different people-- she'll just go to Jae's, for a while, until this is sorted. (This will get sorted; Megan will be fine. She tells herself this.)

He's impressed with himself - his hands don't shake (much) when he pulls his key ring out and slides the spare one off the rest of them. He knows he should be keeping it somewhere useful, but the idea of leaving it under a rug here strikes him as particularly bad. He holds it between his teeth, and then undoes his left earring - a bright pink stud shaped like a die - and attaches it to the little silver ring, so she can see it in the water.

"It's the building on the corner of Amber Lantern and Crest Harbor, against the river. Third floor, number eight."

His CiD gets to rest on the edge of the bench for a moment, and he chucks it out there, into the water. When he picks it up again, his expression is calm. "We'll figure it out. I'm not going to bail on it."

"I'll find it," quietly; the key, and then the apartment. She's familiar with the feel of Jae, and it shouldn't be too hard to trace the key when it's connected to something he wears; like a bloodhound in the water, just for traces of magic.

"--thank you." Again. She doesn't know quite what else to say about it.

Jae nods, and gives her a smile - it's subdued, and a little forced, but not disingenuous. He does want her to feel better, and he does feel hopeful about this, even if he's really, really making himself feel that way. They're going to figure it out, and right now, Ilde and Megan both need somebody to be calm and get answers. He will do this.

"I'll see you."

He cuts the connection, takes a few deep breaths, and then heads out. He's got an idea where to go, and he's not going to waste time. (He can deal with one earring.)

When he's already on the el train, leaning against a window, he pulls his CiD out again, and sends off a message:

You're really pretty.

Before he pockets it again, and gets off at the next stop.

i am hung with graveyard flowers;

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