It's a little too harsh, a little too soon and Ilde doesn't know exactly how to explain; there had been nothing else, it was die one way or die another, and the other way was so much fucking worse. Her first instinct is just to stop talking, to withdraw, because this is hard and she's so tired, and it's such a mess. There's too much going on and too much to figure out and she doesn't know what happened afterwards, she doesn't know what's going on right now with the enclave and it eats at her.

There wasn't anything else they could've done. (What if there was? What if she should've waited? What if Cindy is right and it was wrong and this is her fault?)

"It was better than the alternative," she says, quietly, and when she finally does say it, she sounds absolutely certain.