"Better keep it shut, then." It's more self-deprecating than anything else.

"Part of me thinks I should look at this as a completely fresh start. Try to find some... Balance, I suppose. I mean, I suppose I can do that here, unlike back home."

Although he keeps stalling on making a decision. And it's not like Baedal is a guarantee he won't keep falling back into the same destructive old habits (it's really not).