"It's like drowning, if drowning were good," Ilde suggests, wading deeper into the water - it's an odd comparison to make, considering she's physically incapable of doing that. (Sometimes she pretends, at the bottom of the bath in the house she shares with Sonja; she goes to sleep there and pretends she'll never have to get up again, and it's fine, it's not real, it just makes things easier for a while.) "Going in all the way to the bottom. I think it's good."