He's not thinking about it today, but in the past, he has quietly reflected that he might only 'have' Bellatrix when she's dead. If she had a grave, he might visit it, and she would always be there. He might talk to it, if he were so inclined, and she would not be able to give him a look of impatience or ignore him. No more would he listen to spitting angry rants about the questionable loyalty of other Death Eaters or whatever made her angry, as he was, at least, a good listener even if he was an unsatisfactory husband. Yes, he's reflected in the past, this is one of the most pathetic thoughts I've ever had.

But this morning, he is not thinking it, since it is a very old thought. He is thinking of Hellsing and work, of the books he will start collecting again, when Ilde's voice startles him like a touch of guilt. Books would have led him to thoughts of her eventually, but now it's like he thought books and immediately fell down a steep hillside into Ilde. Rodolphus halts and studies her, aware he is only reinforcing the association, but not wholly opposed to it.

Part of him had hoped she'd be gone.

"You look well," he says, a polite remark which for him could be construed as almost forward.