It used to be something she had a knack for - there's a reason why she's so temperamentally suited to skillful illusion. Sometimes, here and there, she can maintain it a little the way she used to; most of the time, she contents herself with opacity and an illusory face that doesn't pretend not to be false. The unreal quality of her appearance is one finger lifted at the rest of the world (you only get to see what I decide; you can't just look at me when you like), and that's her coping strategy.

Not the loudness, afterwards, but the ability to create her own small space of stillness. Baedal is the right sort of place for her, she thinks; she'd stopped waiting (Erik thinks she should wait) and it had been like breathing out, finally, and it had felt like maybe she could be still, a little bit.

She moves forward so she doesn't fall apart.

After a moment she signs, Yeah, as though he'd said something, because that's enough, sort of.